Diabeetus...
Author: InsertAuthorHere
The Cutie Mark Crusaders ask Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy about what happened just after the events of the Cutie Mark Chronicles; specifically, what happened to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash immediately after the race. Reluctantly, Dash and Fluttershy delve into a tale. A tale of a young Fluttershy's amazement at the world she had landed upon, and a filly Dash's desperate quest to save her from that most evil of places: THE GROUND.
Will this story melt the Drill Sergeant's frozen heart? Grab your insulin and head past the jump to find out!
Keeping Your Hooves On The Ground (Word Count: 8,035)
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, this... is Babs Seed:
You may remember her from such things as the episodes One Bad Apple, Apple Family Reunion, and cuteness in general. Now, you may hear others say things about Sweetie Belle or Fluttershy, but I will maintain to my dying breath that Babs Seed is the cutest damn thing on the planet. Every time she flicked her sweet little tail to cover her adorable little blank flank*, I emitted a very manly, heterosexual squee. It's like a normal squee, just through a mouthful of Jack Daniels and bacon.
Now, why do I bring this up, besides my never-ending quest to convince people that Babs is Best Filly? Because though we may be high-speed, low-drag, pop-smoke, combat-roll, hard-charging, hooah-hooah mother buckers, we, being bronies, enjoy "teh cuteness," and that's what today's story is all about.
(*In my defense, that sounded much less pedophilic in my head)
STORY: Much like the synopsis says, this is about Dash and Fluttershy telling the CMC about what happened after the events in Cutie Mark Chronicles. I love stories like this. Every time I read or watch a story, I can't help but think of what comes after the "Happily Ever After." It's not so much world-building, more world-fleshing out.
But the story is about more than just Cutie Marks. It gives us a glimpse of how Dash and 'Shy became friends. The episode never said that they were before the events in therein, and when you think about it... they kinda don't make sense. I mean, how does the brash, daring speed freak become such close friends with the repressed shut-in who can barely fly? This nifty little tale shows us how two diametrically opposed ponies became such close friends, and makes it very believable.
CHARACTERS: The author really nailed the characters, I think. When we see the ponies as fillies, Fluttershy has none of the growth we've seen her attain in the show. She's very much a tiny, tiny pony, physically and emotionally. Dash is similarly well-done. One aspect I always really liked about Dash is how she isn't really fearless, just brave. Like that old quote about bravery not being the absence of fear, merely fearing fear itself as it chooses to go to the moon while asking not what its country can do for it and tearing down this wall. Or something like that. I don't know, I fell asleep in history class.
But Dash is frequently shown in fan fiction to be not brave, but foolhardy and ignorant of danger. It doesn't make her look brave and awesome, it makes her look like an idiot. Here, we see filly Dash trying to hide it, and when we see adult Dash telling the story, she sheepishly admits to it. Again, growth of characters, me gusta.
GRAMMAR AND STYLE: Pretty clean, but there is one glaring problem. This poor fic suffers from a debilitating affliction known as Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. This is where the author will use physical descriptors or character traits instead of names and pronouns. Example: Twilight Sparkle becomes "the lavender unicorn" or "the scholarly unicorn." Rarity is now "the marshmallow fashionista." "The multi-hued daredevil," "the buttercream pegasus," and my all-time most hated, "Ponyville's premiere pink party pony." If I ever read that again, I swear fo Jebus, somepony's gonna taste the brim of my hat.
Now, this isn't really wrong, per se. It's not breaking any rules, it's just fluff: added words that tell us things we already know. We know Twilight is smart, we know Rainbow likes to go fast, we know that Pinkie is more hyper than a cokehead after a weekend at Charlie Sheen's house. All these do is artificially inflate your story, and insult the reader a bit. Just use names and pronouns. If you're getting tired of that, vary up your sentence structure. And this story does is a lot. Like, a lot a lot. But, in all honesty, unless you review stories, you probably wouldn't notice or care. Of course, now that I've told you, you'll always notice and it will irritate you every time you see it. In a way, I've ruined a lot of your favorite fics now.
You're welcome.
OVERALL AWESOMENESS: A few reviews back, I mentioned that different reviews try to evoke different emotions. Some try to make you sad, others mad. This story just wants to warm your heart. It's... it's like a giant, fluffy puppy: completely innocent, harmless, and it makes you feel good. If you're looking for a quick, nice dose of squee, I highly recommend this story.
I want to think of a rating, but I can't. This story, it's just... just to damn cute! The filly ponies, the adorable dialogue, the innocence of Dash's fears. I can't think! I can't... I just... I-I-I...
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Ugh... sorry, had to take my insulin shot. Anywho, yeah, go read it, just beware the 'beetus.
Now, all the other staff members on this site always sign off with, "Semper Filly!" I thought about doing this as well, but alas, I can not. See, since I am able to count to twenty-one without getting arrested for indecent exposure, I couldn't join the Marine Corps and had to join the Army instead. So, because I love nothing more than seeing my superiors get pissed off, I will instead say:
PONY STRONG! HOOAH!
From front to rear, disappear!
Babs is Best Filly.
