HeyguyshowyoudoinggoodokaythatsgreatsorryIgottagolotsdodowhhheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Author: totallynotabrony
Rainbow is depressed after she is unable to join the Wonderbolts. Her friends get her a ticket to an air show on Earth to cheer her up. She unexpectedly falls in love with jets, and decides that she wants to be a pilot no matter what it takes. She'll need education, training, and more than a little luck.
Does this fic feel the need, the need for speed? Find out after the jump!
You know, throughout this whole story, one movie line kept repeating in my head: "What does God need with a starship?" Author, you're reminding me of Star Trek V. That's not a good thing.
STORY: Like the synopsis says, the story starts with RD getting rejected by the Wonderbolts, and right here is where I have to throw a flag. Okay, I can understand her not getting in, not everypony achieves their dream, but the reasons given are completely bunk. Her mane doesn't conform to their standards? Really?! A national hero, fastest pegasus alive, saved your sorry hides, but her hair is kinda loud, so bye-bye! Hell, even the author apparently knows the reasons are flimsy, because RD calls out every single one, until Soarin' eventually just says, "No, go away." I wouldn't really mind, but the entire plot stems from this event, and it's just tossed out there casually. It's one of those little things that irks me to no end.
Anywho, after this, Dash goes to Earth (the two worlds have been connected for a long time now, thank you, Quantum), sees a Blue Angel's show, and on the spot decided to be a fighter pilot. Now, here is my "Final Frontier" problem: why would a pegasus, who can on command break the sound barrier, want to fly a jet? I understand her wanting to be among the best, but she goes through an awful lot of trouble for this. The story is about her going to college, getting a degree, joining the Navy, flying combat missions, nine years of her life, all for the chance to fly with the Angels. Wouldn't it have made more sense to just wait a season and try for the Wonderbolts again? In the prologue, she says that the Angels are more impressive than the 'Bolts. I'm sorry, but despite what Top Gun said, jets are big, loud, cumbersome machines. Dash can fly faster, turn tighter and do more with her own wings than a jet could ever hope. Even the most maneuverable fighters in existence would be left in the dust against her. I just... why?
CHARACTERS: We see most of the Mane Six only briefly, but they seem in character. It's very fun to see the author's take on where they would be several years down the line. I love how Pinkie Pie is the head chef for the President. The only real character issue is Dash seems a bit... colder than normal. Her usual brash, cocky attitude is toned way down in favor of a near-OCD level of focus on achieving her goal. Again, this takes place some years in the future, so I guess it's okay. It's just a bit jarring to see Dash so... professional.
STYLE AND GRAMMAR: Grammar-wise? Nothing to note here. No derps that I could see, the tense was consistent, punctuation was clean.
Style, however, is where I take some points. This story's pacing is waaaaaaaay fast! It's only 11,000 or so words, but in that time we cover nine years of Dash's life! Entire phases of her life pass in mere sentences. Also, a great deal of the story is exposited rather awkwardly, describing events in the past that would have done better if shown.
But, I understand the reasoning, in a way. I get the author didn't want to write hundreds of thousands of words on this, instead wanting to focus on the important parts of her journey: her first day of college, OCS, her first combat mission. The problem is that at times, it reads more like a biography than an actual story.
OVERALL AWESOMENESS: What this story does well is it takes an oddball premise, a flying pony wanting to fly a jet, and makes it enjoyable to read. We follow Dash on her journey, and it's a mildly enjoyable one. The only issues I have are the premise itself, and the slightly impersonal way it's told. Remember when I said Dash felt cold? Well, the whole story kind of feels like that. We never feel the emotions with her: the crushing disapointment of not making it into the Wonderbolts, the thrill of her first jet flight, even the pain of her combat mision. We don't feel any of it, we're just along for the ride. It is an enjoyable ride, it just could have been better.
In trying to sum up my feelings on this one, I flashed back to one of my favorite episodes of Pinky & The Brain. It's the one where Brain tries to be a country music singer, "Billy Bo-Ba Brain." Near the begining, two rednecks are listening to him, and they say this:
Bobby Joe: "He ain't half bad."
Joey Bob: "He ain't half good, neither."
And... there ya go. It's not a really bad story. It's not a really good story. It's just... there. It'll entertain you, but once you're done, it'll fade away pretty quick. So, for a rating, I guess...
Eeyup. Author? You did just enough good that there's not a legitimate reason for you to beat your face. You might want to run before I think of something. From front to rear, disappear!
