Another user submitted fanfic? And it's military related!? Well that just makes my day. The same author who wrote The Pony in my Pocket was kind enough to write another military-related fanfic about Rainbow Dash joining the good ol' US Air Force. No bias here. None at all.
Author: BaroqueNexus; totallynotabrony
Equestria's fastest pegasus joins the United States Air Force, and, through her triumphs and tragedies, learns what it means to be loyal.Wings
I'm just going to ignore the inconsistencies in that picture...despite there being obvious things wrong. Okay Spangle, it's not a big deal, right? RIGHT? Gah! Review after the break.
Now, I do have to put a slight disclaimer out there: This story was written before The Pony in my Pocket, and it does somewhat show. As is typical with any writer/author, the more they write, the better they get. Am I saying it's bad? Continue reading, why don't you? Lazy....
The entire story is through the first pony view of Rainbow Dash. This might have been a misstep considering this style of narration/writing is typically more difficult. At least, I believe it to be more difficult. In my experience, making a story interesting from the main character's view is a challenging task left to more experienced writers who can really create a full and captivating character while still bringing in enough outside information to not break away from the style. It essentially turns into a balancing act and relies heavily on the writer's ability to create interest in both the main character's thoughts and the events of the outside world. In all fairness, I think he did a good job with this story, but there is still room for improvement on future stories if he decides to take this approach again. To his credit, Dash seems pretty much in character for the duration of the story.
But I digress. We're provided a reasonable explanation for how ponies have come to be in the human world, but the author fails to mention if humans can or have been allowed to visit Equestria. Is it important to the plot? Not really, but it would help to provide a better understanding of the world the author has created. As you may have guessed, ponies view humans as "messed up" because we "like to kill and hurt each other for no reason." They obviously don't stereotype all humans as being this way, otherwise they would have cut off all contact and never came back. Still, it is the typical reaction we would expect if ponies came to our world from their relatively peaceful land of Equestria.
Now, I had one issue with Dash: the reason she joined the US Air Force. She didn't have any real knowledge about the politics or conflicts of our world.. She didn't join out of a sense of duty or belief in a cause. She joined simply because she wanted to fly fighter jets. Is that something Rainbow might do? Probably, but it still bothered me. As a military man, I don't like it when people join for the wrong reasons because, more often then not, it causes problems. Still, I'm glad she chose the Air Force. Good branch. Let's continue.
Initially, I had some issues with the dogfight scene. Yes, there's a dogfight. Minor spoiler, but what did you expect? It's a story about Rainbow Dash being a USAF pilot! Of course there's going to be aerial combat! In retrospect, however, the author doesn't really give any information on what jets the Americans or hostiles are flying, nor does he give any information about the skill or training of the enemy pilots. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, given the circumstances, the dogfight is believable. Too bad we never really get to know the final outcome. Why? I'm not telling you. While the end result of the battle wasn't essential to the storyline, it would have been nice to know.
Moving on, the author did get a lot of the details and terminology impressively correct...although I'm disinclined to agree with his opinion on flight suits being like straitjackets. I, for one, find them very comfortable...even if they don't really breath all that well. The G-suit, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Actually, Dash shouldn't need a G-suit considering the high-G maneuvers she pulls when performing her stunts and tricks flying under her own power...good thing the author never specifies if she's wearing one or not, I suppose. Regardless, I would have liked to see a bit more AF terminology (this is a great source of AF terms), but he didn't get anything wrong to the best of my knowledge....I did get a kick from Dash's squadron being called "Stag Squadron" and having the names of Santa's reindeer. He probably should have used a "looks like Christmas came early" joke in there. Just a thought.
All in all, I found this story to be pretty enjoyable, if not short. To be honest, I felt there was a lot of opportunities to expand the story and allow it go from good to great. I wanted more from this story than it gave. I didn't feel any real connection with what was happening. This might be because I'm an AF guy and I don't find this kind of stuff interesting...or perhaps I found it hard to care about this story after hearing numerous stories about the Tuskegee Airman, Robin Olds, Lance Sijan, Karl Richter, and so on. Nothing against the author, but it's hard for a fictional story to measure up against the real life stories I've come to know so well.
In the end, I think I was expecting the same level of emotional pull as The Pony in my Pocket and this story didn't deliver. I'm not saying it was bad, and to be honest, it's a relatively short story that doesn't take long to read. If you have some time and think you might enjoy it, then definitely check it out. Rating rocket pod things below!
| Originality: | 3 out of 5 rounds. |
| Composition: | 4 out of 5 rounds. |
| Characters: | 3.5 out of 5 rounds. |
| Imagery: | 3.5 out of 5 rounds. |
| Plot: | 3 out of 5 rounds. |
| Relatability: | 4 out of 5 rounds. |
| Overall: | 3.5 out of 5 rounds. |
Whatever, I'm punching out!
Send any fanfiction review requests to fobequestria@gmail.com!
SEMPER FILLY!
