I come bringing you another user submitted fanfiction! Surprised? No? Well then, aren't you just so clever. While I don't normally read darker stories, I made an exception for you guys because that's how much I care....
Author: Guesswork
"It's so nice to see you again!" said the thing that was not Celestia. "Oh yes, I know who you are, Twilight Sparkle. I had a taste of your magic the first time we met. Mortals forget things so easily, I find. Allow me to refresh your memory: you tried to kill me. But you failed, Twilight Sparkle. You only mostly killed me. And I guess that makes you one very unlucky little pony."Daylight Burning
Time to turn and burn this review!
What if Luna's decent into madness was assisted? What if there were other forces at work? What if those forces are still present and seek to take control? Well then, it seems that Equestria has a new crisis to deal with, doesn't it? ENOUGH QUESTIONS! Time for action!
Starting off, this story was very hard for me to read. I'm not typically a fan of "Dark" or "Sad" fanfiction. I get enough of that from our world, thank you very much. Not to mention what the author does to Luna near the beginning of the story (WHY WOULD YOU PUT LUNA THROUGH SUCH THINGS?). Seriously, my heart was screaming at me to just stop reading and say "buck this stupid story." The author managed to pull a lot of emotion from me early on (mostly rage and sorrow), which is probably why I actually kept reading. And as hard as it was for me to read through Luna's suffering...it was a pretty awesome scene.
This epic tale takes place several years in the future, leaving plenty of leeway for the author to do what they want. That said, I feel like they were trying too hard in the beginning to make the Mane 6 seem more mature/older. Instead, they end up seeming off-character from the Mane 6 we know and love. Their language and mannerisms are not quite what we have come to expect, especially when it comes to drinking (yes, there is alcohol). Also, the writing feels slightly off at the start. For example, there was this one part where the author did this half flashback, half internal thoughts elaboration on Twilight and Spike's relationship which just comes across as clumsy and awkward writing. There were other slight complaints about the composition, writing, and imagery...and I was not too fond of the name the author gave the evil Celestia (Nightmare Sun? Not a fan). The plus side? All these problems seem to get fixed as the story goes on. The Mane 6 start acting more like, well...themselves, and all the writing style improves with each chapter. In other words, don't let the first couple chapters put you off.
One thing I really loved about this story is the other characters the author brought in. One of the Royal Guards, Shield Banner, is a character you admire and hate because of what he does and why he does it (and no, I'm not going into specifics). There is also this government agent pony whose name we're not given, but still becomes a compelling character regardless. The Night Guard, Luna's bat-like guards, are a major part of this story as well. The author gives a down-right awesome explanation of what they are and gives them actual identities, such as their commander, Cinnamon Oatmeal (funny name for a scary bat-pony-thing) and Slon: the best Soviet pony (the author uses ACTUAL RUSSIAN for some of his parts!). Other characters in the show, such as Spitfire, the Diamond Dogs, and so on, make appearances, giving the author a potent cast of characters to bring to this story to life. And speaking of characters...
The villain. I'm not talking the possessed form of Celestia, here. I'm talking about the thing possessing her: The Nightmare. I'm not really spoiling anything. This is information given in the first chapters, so yeah. But this villain is a force to be reckoned with and provides a great foe for our heroes to overcome. Even time and space seem to barely contain this...thing, which can be described as no less than the spirit of true evil. I was legitimately asking myself if our heroes could prevail as I read this story (it does have a "dark" and "sad" tags after all). With every conflict and struggle, you are never sure who will win...which makes for a very captivating story!
Next? Well, I can certainly say this much: the author has a good sense of humor. There are several (quite humorous) shout outs to the Bronies in terms of fanon references like Lord Smooze, Stalliongrad, Soviet Equestria, and Rarity smelling like marshmallows (you mean she's not one?). Not only that, certain events and dialogues are just plain hilarious: watermelon tsunamis of cataclysmic proportions, Pinkie breaks reality here and there, Fluttershy using The Stare to great effect, "This is Equestria, not some dark adventure novella," and "I much prefer that problem to the one where we were all about to die." What else? Well, the author includes my favorite thing ever...pony puns! Terms and names such as rent-a-clops, marenarchy, Doctor Stables, horseradish, and horse-apples are used (to my great enjoyment) quite extensively. For being such a dark story, the author certainly has a way of lightening the mood at the right times.
Also, the author brings in several interesting concepts. There is this whole idea of "negative magic," which is never fully explained (nor does it really need to be) but plays a vital role in the story. The idea Equestria had "Champions" in the past and Spike is the start of the return of this tradition, which has made him a total bad ass while still being the same kind dragon we know him to be. The author also introduces different types of dragons, making Spike and amphibious-type (which comes in handy on a few occasions). Even the idea of the Nightmare is rather interesting, especially the level of power it has. While the concept that Luna was "taken over" or influenced by an outside source is not an uncommon concept, I loved this author's spin on the idea.
Finally all stories have to come to an end. I have to say, I'm rather satisfied with how the author ends the struggle between good and evil. I especially got a kick out of how the Mane 6 exploded the Nightmare...TWICE! Did it work? Well, I can't tell you that, but it reminded me of that scene in Feeling Pinkie Keen ("What if she exploded, and then exploded again?" "Can you do that? Can you explode twice?"). Was it a reference? Probably not, but my mind is full of pony and everything is a reference at this point. The most important aspect of the ending for me was the fact that there were no loose ends left when all was said and done. There were no lingering questions or unsolved mysteries. This story has closure. It even has one scene at the end that is nearly identical to a scene from the beginning (nice artistic touch, in my opinion!). There is also has a twist at the end...and a rather interesting one at that. Let's just say that somepony is not quite who they appear to be and that the one actually responsible for starting the whole crisis is someone you would probably never suspect. That's all you get.
All in all, a great story. Despite the initially flaws and difficulties, this story will definitely pull you in if you give it the chance. What was that? You want a TL;DR in number form? Ratings below. I didn't feel comfortable with a "Relatability" category for this story, so it has been omitted.
| Originality: | 4 out of 5 rounds. |
| Composition: | 4 out of 5 rounds. |
| Characters: | 4.5 out of 5 rounds. |
| Imagery: | 5 out of 5 rounds. |
| Plot: | 5 out of 5 rounds. |
| Relatability: | N/A |
| Overall: | 4.5 out of 5 rounds. |
(Rating System Guide)
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Time of me to punch out!
SEMPER FILLY!
