Fan Fiction Review #008: Walkies

Oh hey! Would you look at that, I'm actually doing a review on a fanfic someone submitted! Wait, since when do we actually check that email? I thought that was just a ruse...guys?

Author: Fernin

"Being the night security guard for Ponyville General Hospital is a boring and thankless job-- especially for Vigilance, who has his heart set on becoming a member of the Equestrian Royal Guard.  Unfortunately both his current job and his future career are now in jeopardy thanks in part to a ridiculous incident in which Rainbow Dash broke in at night to steal a book, of all things.  A book!  

Now to save his job a reluctant Vigilance is saddled (pun unintended) with a new and frustrating duty: assisting in the treatment of his least favorite patient, an unidentified mare who thinks she's a dog.

Can Vigilance swallow his pride for long enough to get "Screw Loose" the exercise therapy she needs, or will her canine antics drive him barking mad?"

Walkies

For future reference, I'll only do a review once a story is completed. In other words, if you submit incomplete stories, you won't see a review until it's finished. But for now, I present to you Walkies!

So, as you should have gleaned from the description, this story takes place after the events of Reading Rainbow...er, Read It and Weep and focuses on the night security guard Vigilance. Because the show doesn't give us a backstory, the author makes one up, beginning with a glimpse into the childhood foalhood of Vigilance. It's a scene from many of our youths: a colt and his action figures. Not only does this show us how this has been a lifelong dream, but it also exposes us to the fact his father was a member of the Royal Guard. How many of us military members have been there? Wanting to carry on the family tradition and serve? Living under the roof of a military household? Yeah, we get where Vigilance's hopes and dreams come from, and it was done in a very captivating way! Think about it, how boring would it have been if the author started in the present and just explained why he wanted to be a Royal Guard through a narrative. As Pinkie would say, "BORE-RING!"

Shift to the present. Instead of a Royal Guard, he's a security guard. Not quite the the life he wanted, huh? Well, even that isn't going so well for him. His job is on the line and he is given one last chance to save it: working with the mystery patient, Ms. Pony AKA Screw Loose. The crazy dog-pony. Apparently they have a chemistry, or so the hospital administration insists. Frankly, he isn't too fond of her, but he puts up with it to save his job and keep his dream alive. If he can't keep a security guard job, how is he supposed to become a Royal Guard? He isn't, that simple. Again, something we in the military can relate to: putting up with less than desirable circumstances and biting our tongues so we can achieve our goals/keep our jobs. Unfortunate? Yes. Irritating? Yes. Necessary? Yes.

From here, the author takes a unique approach of telling us what happened through debriefings between Vigilance and Doctor Stable (PONY PUNS!). It was always interesting to be given the scene of the aftermath and then be told what happened. I mean, think about it! How many times did you see someone and wonder, "What happened to you?" The author capitalizes on our natural curiosity. BRILLIANT! It was also at this point I finally understood the title, Walkies. As in, "Come here doggy, let's go for walkies!" Yeah, I might have gotten a nice chuckle out of that.

Anyway, things go less than awesome. In fact, Vigilance and Doctor Stable seem to be at their wits end at times. But they push forward. As crazy and chaotic as the walkies are, it's this unique task and the relationship that Vigilance forms with Screw Loose that ends up changing his life. How? You'll have to find out yourself. No spoilers here. Nope. Not like I'm going to tell you that thanks to Screwy's dog-like affinity that he finds and rescues a mission foal and ends up becoming a Royal Guard recruit. Nope.

Overall, it's a well written story that does a good job of captivating the reader. Sure, there were times where I felt the author was making Vigilance a little TOO oblivious...but he does a decent job of recovering from it later. I still wanted to break through reality to yell at Vigilance for not seeing the obvious....regardless, it was a good story. In hindsight, it was probably one of those "outside looking in" things where it's obvious to an observer but not someone in the situation. Yeah...

Rating thingies below! I don't want to really penalize the author for trying to incorporate some military aspects into his story, so I'll just consider the military-ish parts when rating the "Relatability" category. Expect this to be the norm for these types of stories.

Originality:	4 out of 5 rounds.
Composition:	5 out of 5 rounds.
Characters:	5 out of 5 rounds.
Imagery:	5 out of 5 rounds.
Plot:	4 out of 5 rounds.
Relatability:	4 out of 5 rounds.
Overall:	4.5 out of 5 rounds.

(Rating System Guide)

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