Shattered memories... I just have to get them back.
Author: TheVulpineHero1
Somepony struggles to remember their childhood. But something's wrong. The facts aren't lining up, and things are becoming blurred. What's at the bottom of this mystery?
Ok, so maybe not "shattered" memories, but still mussed up.
Kaleidoscope (Word Count: 3,085)
So how am I supposed to review this without any spoilers?... No seriously, I'm asking. You know what that is implying? Go read it, now... Why are you still reading this? Did you not see the above link?... So you didn't come here to read that story and instead are looking for a review... well, that changes my job a bit.
OK, let me just get my gripes out of the way now. There are quite a few lines that feel, just... out of place. And you know me, I can be petty, and color is not spelled with a "u". As I was reading through, there are HUGE inconsistencies. It was to the point where i was thinking "this author knows NOTHING of the canon!" but then something magical happens. The author uses this as a launching off point, playing the parts that are wrong to change everything.
Time for the praise. This story has one character, zero plot, zero motivation, and only the last paragraph has any sort of character development. Ugh I can hear it now, "But Dizzy, how can a story with no plot, no motivation, and no character development be good? It's just a collection of thoughts!" To which I say, "Go back to your Scootaloo clop, you worthless human beings!"
So I'm a little harsh, but true nonetheless. This story is only about three thousand words. So it cannot accomplish much. But what it does, makes it one of my favorites. This story jumps around like mad, it left me wondering just what was happening, how were things moving so quickly, and so drastically. It kept me spellbound, hungry to see the end, how this all fit together, how it would make sense, just what was happening. And that is where the story shines, I know it is only three thousand some-odd words... and yet it keeps you glued to your screen.
Now the ending is weak, my biggest problem is the hole in the canon. Not the story's canon, the show's canon. I know, I know, that is the point of Fan Fiction. Yet this just does not seem to fit all that well. The ending is by no means bad, just after all the lead up and awesome writing in the meat of the story, the ending just feels like the Author ran out of time and threw this in. And yet this story has the feeling of the ending was the entire concept, and the main chunk of the story was written around it. There is nothing wrong with this method, I have no problem with it, but when the ending falls short of the bulk of the story, I shake my head.
So where does this leave us? I will make it easy for you: Here is another link, click it now. It is three thousand, eighty five words. It took me 'bout twenty minutes to read it. You have nothing to lose by clicking that link. In other words, I have a new story in my favorites.
TL;DR
Find the link, click it.
and no I am not doing the whole "Semper Filly" thing either,
I am Air Force.
Deal with it.
and no I am not doing the whole "Semper Filly" thing either,
I am Air Force.
Deal with it.
Spangle: Oh, I'll deal with it. I just have one question: do you like bananas?
Dizzy: Go ahead and try, see what happens. I bet you don't have the cahones.
Spangle: Oh? You think being around you and Tweak hasn't changed me?
Dizzy: But... but you let Tweak do it!
Spangle: I let him say, "Pony Strong, hooah!" I compromised. You're just being insubordinate.
Dizzy: I don't see the difference, you are just swinging your "power" around.
Spangle: TO THE MOOOOOOOOON!
Dizzy: I'm still here.
Spangle: ...Don't tempt me.
Dizzy: ...Want to go get some food?
Spangle: Sure!
Dizzy: I'm still here.
Spangle: ...Don't tempt me.
Dizzy: ...Want to go get some food?
Spangle: Sure!
Alright folks, keep tuned in and be sure to send any fanfic submissions to fobequestria@gmail.com under the subject FANFIC.
SEMPER FILLY!
