Twilight in...*gulp* magic... kindergarten.
Author: Sessalisk
Twilight Sparkle is accepted into Princess Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns and gets a little more than she bargained for.
So my boss told me he loves this fic... prepare to be mad Spangle.
Darkest Before Dawn (Word Count: 109,473)
Now that Spangle has FINALLY gotten off his lazy butt and approved this review, you get to read the tearing apart of one of his favorite fics. Let's begin:
There is something fundamentally boring about history. No matter what transpires, no matter what clever plot twists are incorporated, you just know how the story is going to end. And that is my biggest problem going into this story, we know Twilight grows up, makes some friends, and saves the world... multiple times.
I will say that the way Twilight is portrayed in the story, as in the first person way, is some of the best I have seen. But things don't seem to mesh out. Twilight tries to make some friends, but she fails, obviously. Tying back into my first point about history... I'll state that again. I along with most of the fandom PRESUMABLY do not know how exactly Twilight was instructed by Celestia. Was it one on one? Or was it more like this story, she was taking normal classes... well sort of normal, but I have a whole other rant planned for that. After class, on the weekends after Celestia gets done with her 'royal duties'... at three in the morning.
Lets get on to the fun part, the part where I fling insults at the fic. Starting small, during narration, Twilight's thoughts will go back and forth between calling her parents 'Mother and Father' to 'Mom and Dad.' Okay so I'm nit-picking, but when the author jumps back and forth so much, it breaks flow for me.
Second point, the author's art. It's not that I am completely jealous of anyone with artistic ability against artists, but the oddly placed drawings are a little flow breaking. I would be deep into the story, when suddenly A WILD PICTURE APPEARS. Now some of the pictures are better than others, but when the author him/herself says, "Gimme a break, I drew that in five minutes," it makes me think, "If it sucks, why even have it." This is not a picture book. This is fan fiction. This is some srs bsns.
Getting to my point about the classes, Twilight when in *ahem* MAGIC KINDERGARTEN is being taught algebra, things I personally did not learn till junior high. Friggin' functions of X. And she even knows a proof that proves 3 = 4. Crazy math, don't ask. I understand there is more than one definition for 'gifted' but come on man.
Now let's talk about titles. I can sort of see that the title maybe came from all the lessons Twilight would have with Celestia at four in the morning, but other than that I just don't get it. If anything Twilight seems rather happy here. It is not the worst part of her young life as the title leads us to believe.
Now let's talk about titles. I can sort of see that the title maybe came from all the lessons Twilight would have with Celestia at four in the morning, but other than that I just don't get it. If anything Twilight seems rather happy here. It is not the worst part of her young life as the title leads us to believe.
Now for my antepenultimate point... I CAN USE BIG WURDS. Twilight's classmates: they are all poorly portrayed, and are mostly forgettable. The only one who gives me pause for thought is 'Rune' an orphan there for some strange reason that is never really explained. All the characters are hollow and only help to remind us how isolated Twilight feels around other foals. And although it does not really bother me too much, this fic uses a lot of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. Something that would drive Tweak crazy... er. Crazier. The worst part, though, is in this one scene. SPOILERS: One character nearly kills another... in magic kindergarten. SPOILERS OVER.
Penultimate point. The whole ending chapter seems horribly out of place, just the summer vacation after Twilight ends that year. How is that bad? It has nothing NOTHING to do with her schooling, her relationship with the princess, or her magical ability... so this is one scene, but for all the nonsense around it, it just does not seem important, and just seems to highlight some sort of ploy that all the background characters think that Twilight's parents are abusive.The entire last chapter, if anything, just serves to be some sort of breather episode and wind down, or maybe a lead into the next story. Maybe there is one, or maybe reading through two million plus words of Fallout Equestria, and it's side stories has hardened me...
Final point. I get it, children falling unknowingly into a sexual situation is funny. And it was in this story... the first time. After the FOURTH TIME I am beginning to question the social ethics and norms of Equestria and this little school that graduates students after the fourth grade. It just seems wrong, especially considering the fact that when these things pop up, or are walked into, are so harshly beat down by the instructors, and Twilight's parents.
REVIEW WRAP UP, REVIEW WRAP UP... sorry. So we have a great Twilight, decent writing, terrible background characters, unbelievable situations, and innuendos hidden around every corner. Granted this is probably the best 'school days of Twilight' story I have read, so it wins by default. For me it comes down to we know how everything ends, and whenever the story deviates from the established canon, we know it has to come back. While some parts are rather enjoyable, most are just plain boring, Celestia being reminded about Luna and getting upset seems awkward, Blueblood makes an appearance, and this whole thing makes me think that Twilight is growing up, and trying to be more social, not becoming the social recluse we know from S1E1. With all this in mind, I have to say give this story a pass. While it does a few things wonderfully, so many other vital parts of the story are done poorly, or not at all.
TL;DR
I'll pass.
Stay Dizzy My friends...
Spangle mad? Yeah, he mad.
Spangle mad? Yeah, he mad.
