Ponies with guns? Seems legit...
Author: Dusk Quill
When Private Fleethoof recognized his dream and joined the Royal Guard, he never thought he would ever experience the might of Equestria's military firsthand. But when Equestria's safety is threatened by an old enemy, he'll find out just what sacrifices war and survival demand, and what it truly means to serve for Princess and country, and just how important some friendships can be. See the war through the eye-witness account of a soldier on the frontline, all taken from one enduring journal.Can the Drill Sergeant stand reading a story about a Private long enough to give it its due? Find out after the jump!
The Griffon War: A Soldier's Memoirs (Word Count: 76,859)
STORY: The story centers around a young Private Fleethoof, an idealistic your pegasus with a crippling case of Disney Princess Syndrome, an affliction which manifests in the character have a vague thirst for "more." In his case, He joined the Royal Guard to actually defend Equestria, not pull pointless patrols around some quiet beach. Right here, kudos to the author, as this is something that nearly any service member can relate to: deploying, expecting to be fighting terrorists and slinging freedom left and right only to end up sitting on an OP on some abandoned stretch of road for twelve hours on end and staring at nothing.
Anywho, in a nutshell, the Griffons are being douchenozzles. Brief aside, am I the only one who gets tired of always seeing Griffons portrayed as the enemy? This is not a ding against this story, just a trope I get a bit tired of in general.
So, the ponies go to war. One of the big selling points in this fic for me was the portrayal of the Royal Guard as an actual functioning military. We see them bravely fighting the Griffons with their... guns? Yeah, now might be a good time to get into that. First off, the author does have an "Alternate Universe" tag, so it gets a pass from breaking from canon so hard. My issue is not so much with the fact that they have guns, but more the fact that they have human guns. The way they are described, they appear near-identical to weapons in our world. Many stories have given firearms to ponies, but those were usually custom tailored to the equine form: shoulder mounted, a trigger bar activated by the mouth. In this one, the guns are just like ours, which makes me question things. Why would they develop weapons like that, that seem so unsuited for them? Also, the story has many scenes where they fire... while moving. Now yes, we've seen in the show ponies walking on two legs, but that was only for extremely brief periods. Granted, in the first chapter we do see a character struggling with standing upright, but later on we see full-on infantry charges. It's just the kind of thing that makes you derp a bit, you know?
We are given a reason as to why they don't use a lot of magic in the war. See, the Griffon nation is surrounded by mountains filled with MacGuffinite or something, a mineral that inhibits magic. Because of this, we only see small-range teleports and brief shields from unicorn. Pegasi can still fly, but woe to the earth pony who wanted to plant a herb garden, I guess. So, I commend the author here, but we are never given a reason as to why they have guns at all. Again, in this universe, Unicorn magic is still very powerful, so why they don't have more combat mages and whatnot is never addressed. I know I'm harping on this a lot, but you have to admit, it is a major sticking point, and, as far as I can see, the main reason for the AU tag. It asks a lot of our suspension of disbelief. Luckily for the author, the rest of the narrative is so tight that it's actually not that hard to give in and take the plunge.
The story follows Fleethoof across several campaigns as the ponies invade Griffon land. The action scenes run the gamut from a D-Day style invasion to Mogadishu-like urban fights, sphincter-clenching patrols through small towns, and even a daring hostage rescue. Fleethoof engages the Griffons with his gun on the land and air. Those are moments that really get me going. The several aerial dogfights are superbly done.
One thing to remember is that this is A Soldier's Memoirs. We don't see the major, overarching war going on. In fact, at one or two points, we actually feel that the real action is other places, not with out heroes. This sounds like a recipe for being boring, but it's actually very effective at capturing a soldier's experience. No soldier participates in every single major conflict of a war. Hell, even Audie Murphy took a day off every now and then!
There is one plot element that... hmm, it doesn't bother me, per se, but it does leave me scratching my head. See, this is all happening simultaneously with the events of the series premiere, the Nightmare Moon incident. But the author never really does anything with this. Oh sure, we hear briefly how the sun didn't rise one time, but then the next thing we hear about it is Celestia showing up to peace talks with Luna in tow. No one ever asks who this new alicorn is, where she came from, nothing. They all just kind of know who she is. Even the Griffon king Alaric, seems to instantly know who she is and that she was banished. Um... how?
CHARACTERS: Our main character, Fleethoof, very much feels like a private, and I don;'t mean he makes me want to skull-buck him into oblivion. He starts very eager and green, and his emotional journey is a very realistic one. Again, any of you who have deployed and been in actual combat will very closely relate to him. He never feels fake or overdone. He feels the fear, and we see him fight to overcome it. Even when he does some incredibly daring feats, he never goes all Rambo or John McClane, never becoming larger than life. He remains grounded and lifelike, which allows us to fully empathize with him, even if the closest you've been to gunfire is Call of Duty. And when he experiences loss, you'll feel it.
One character who makes a surprising appearance is Shining Armor. The biggest complaint I have about his character in the show is that we know next to nothing about him or his past, how he became Captain of the Guard. Here, Fleethoof meets a very green Unicorn on his boat right before the initial invasion, and the two hit it off a bit. He and Shining pull a few missions together, but soon separate. Shining's character mainly appears in the background for a good portion of the story, and every time we meet him again, he has grown somewhat, and it feels very real.
There are a bunch of other characters, senior leaders in the military, other members of Fleet's team, enemies. I'd be here all day if I praised them all, so suffice to say that Dusk Quill is very good at making even one-off characters feel real. Best example is a female griffon that Fleet has a breathtaking aerial duel with, ending up in a very tense scene inside a house. For only appearing in one chapter, you really get a sense of who she is.
STYLE AND GRAMMAR: Nothing to see here. Everything seemed very polished and clean.
The big thing for style is the journal mechanic. The story starts with Celestia sitting in her chambers reading the first page of Fleethoof's journal. See, a good chunk of the story is told in flashback, and most of the early chapters end with Fleethoof's journal entries. One would think that this would end up being a tired retread of what we just read, but Dusk Quill deftly dodges this. See, the action parts of it focuses mainly on the actual actions, very rarely getting too deep into Fleet's inner thoughts, save for some really heavy moments. Then at the end of every chapter, a journal entry sees Fleet jotting down his feelings. Conversely, some will start with a journal entry and build up tension. Again, this is very life like, at least in my experience. When crap starts blowing up, you very rarely find yourself contemplating the deep intricacies of the human condition; you react on instinct, training takes over, and you become kind of detached from yourself. Especially when it comes to taking a life. So, this leaves us with a very visceral method of storytelling: we see the lightning-paced combat, then we get what Fleet was actually thinking once the adrenaline wore off. It's very real.
I really like this prologue. The tone and setting leaves the reader wondering how Celestia got her hooves on this, and leaves the hanging question: does Fleethoof survive? We don;t find out til the end, and no, I'm not gonna tell you. Neener-neener.
OVERALL AWESOMENESS: I have a dear friend by the name of Pilot. I use his screen name because I've never met the guy. He's a friend through Horse Words, and honestly, what better barometer of coolness could you have besides his affinity for ponies flying east.
Anywho, once I finished this story, I immediately set about the task of convincing him to read it. I rattled off all the great character moments, the gripping action, the scope, the pacing, the tight writing, everything that, in my eyes, made this a classic.
He has not read it yet. He refuses. No matter how many different ways I paint this fic as the Pony War Jesus, he always says the same thing: "It's ponies with guns."
And in all honesty? I... I kind of agree with him. Look, this is an amazing story, but like I said, that is a major sticking point. This is a world of high fantasy: magic that moves the sun and moon, teleportation, griffons and hydras, swords and shields... and now they have guns. And again, we are never really given a reason why they have such technology. Granted, Equestria's tech tree is random as hell, going from video games and airships to no washing machines and horses pulling trains. But firearms are so far removed from anything we have seen in cannon, and an AU tag can only do so much. So, as I said, it is a big hurdle to get over...
... but one that is so worth doing so. This is without a doubt my favorite military centered story in the fandom. I was honestly a bit shocked that the author has never served in the military, because he got a lot of the emotions pretty spot on as far as deployment, combat, and the aftermath. I'd even go as far to say that if you have deployed, a choice moment or two will get you kinda hard. The actions scenes are gripping and tense, the emotional moments are powerful and deep, and you end each chapter dying to know what happens next.
But in all honesty, even if this wasn't an amazing story, I would still recommend it, if only so you could be caught up for the sequel. In Skyfall, Dusk Quill takes the characters from this story in a more SpecOps direction, and... whoa. It's amazing. I'll probably end up reviewing it at some point, because it's, you know, amazing, as is the next sequel. And the sequel after that!. Dusk Quill is, in my humble opinion, the Tom Clancy of Pone fiction, and easily the single most criminally underrated author in the fandom.
But luckily, The Griffon War: A Soldier's Memoir is an amazing story, one with my highest recommendations. So, the final call is, of course...
Dusk Quill may never have served, but he has served us well by writing a damn good portrayal of an actual military in Equestria. You may have to suspend your disbelief a bit harder than normal, but trust me when I say that this story, no, this entire universe, is more than worth it.
From front to rear, disappear!
SEMPER FILLY!
