Fan Fiction Review #032: Sunset

Omigoshomigoshomigoshhhhh!!!!!!

That is the feeling I get from reading some of my very favorite works, and the chance to try to brainwash everyone here to do the same! Please enjoy I promise* there are no ulterior motives here. Oh, and sorry for the spoilerrific cover photo. It can't be helped.

Author: Ciroton

Some things in this world happen by chance. Others do not. Twilight Sparkle is about to learn a disturbing truth that will turn her world upside down.

Please find attached after the break top secret details concerning the photo above.

Sunset   (Word Count: 37,836)

---

So if you've been reading these fan fiction reviews, and taking the time to read who the reviewer is, you've probably noticed a pattern. Tweak gives a blunt, honest review, with his nice little drill sergeant pony at the end. Spangle usually writes the longest reviews, and has a knack for constructive criticism in them.  Dizziestbeef... well I may have a bias against him, and want to keep him from getting his hooves on my fanworks as long as possible, but that isn't the point. Your reviewers on the site will post positive and negative reviews. I post just positive ones. Any that would have been negative (two or three at this point) I talk to the author, and give them my feedback in private. So when you see the following shameless plug, remember that I always recommend the story as a read, but this is THE MOST IMPORTANT okay... I'm getting excited, but you should read this.

While I'm being excited, I need to point out that Sunset is actually a prequel story. It is about 38k words long, and the necessary prerequisite for For Want of a Dawn, which I will shamelessly plug for later. It can be a standalone story, but the magic is in treating it like a long prologue to a novel. Oh, and it also has a previous work, though after reading it, I found that it isn't terrifically important to the story. (Link on the Fimfiction page)

OK, now to the actual story! Celestia, like any good older sibling, wants to help her widdle baby sister Woona--ahem, NIGHTMARE MOON with her problems. So the clear course of action is to mess with ancient and deeply secret magics involved in creating ponies. What better solution than to create a soul-deprived physical copy of a pony, with the intent to shunt the soul of the Nightmare into so that it can be separately destroyed? Well, this pony being has a soul after creation, and Celestia gets to figure out what to do with the baby she created. Twenty some odd years later, Twilight Sparkle finds out the she was adopted, and test-stress kicks in.

Down to the essentials, the story read well. I didn't find much of anything in the way of errors that would detract from experience. The visualization from reading wasn't anything exceptional, but it was quite good enough for me to get a clear picture of what was going on in my mind. Plot is a whole other beast. While Sunset can be--and originally was--a stand alone story, it is now pointing to a much larger work. With that in mind, I think it is more prudent to look at the pacing of this work instead. That is, how gripping it was and if that level of held-you-in-a-vice-grip stayed the same all the way through. That is where I have to shake my head sadly.

Having just re-read it for the third time, there were very blatant spots where the action dropped off so noticeably that I wanted to just get up and go watch my roommate play his xbox. There are several sets of rising and falling tension in Sunset, in the pattern high-low-high-low-high. You always expect the first one in almost any story. How many movies have you seen with an introduction set in a misty forest or old ruins, and a mysterious character shoots someone, and then POOF, you're in the middle of a sunny, ordinary day?  When this happens twice in a row though, it kills the feeling.

I think the most interesting part is delving into that 'test-stress' anxiety that Twilight has in cannon. It doesn't seem too far of a stretch in my mind to have Twilight go for the full mental breakdown and get dangerous when she nearly lost it in-show. Ohai Celestia!

Ratings:

Originality: 4.5/5

Composition: 4/5

Characters: 5/5

Imagery: 4/5

Plot: 3/5

Overall: 4.1/5

TLDR: read this fic. Then, read the sequel, which I will be shamelessly plugging for at a FOB near you soon!

*I've always wanted to stick an asterisk in someplace like that.